Buckets, plumbing and pipework.


A few days ago Diana and I were waiting in the reception area of the consulting suite at The Alexandra Hospital for a meeting with my consultant surgeon Mr. Vijay Ramani for the definitive results of the pathological examination of my prostate after my radical robotic prostatectomy. This was going to be the day that we had been waiting for. I had a nervous weekend and had neither of us had slept well for a couple of nights and now we were both waiting, sat on a sofa to see Mr. Ramani. Other consultants appeared from time to time calling out their patients names and we waited. Mr. Ramani suddenly appeared and acknowledged our presence and beckoned me forward. He shook Diana’s hand and then mine and as we walked down the corridor to his consulting room he put his arm around my shoulder and my heart sank to my boots. Having duly taken our seats we looked at Mr. Ramani expectantly and he asked me how I was doing. I responded that I felt that I was doing well but I really wanted he to know what he had to say. Mr. Ramani said that we would get to that later and he wanted to know how I was. I then had to say that Diana and I really wanted to know what the results were of the pathological examination of my prostate. Mr. Ramani then asked what I thought the results would be worth and after discussing “a good dinner” he let me have it! It was probably the best news that my wife and I have had in a long time. To cut to the chase and leaving out all the technical stuff it was confirmed that the cancer had remained in the prostate and was now, as Mr. Ramani put it, in the bucket! Obviously, I will be monitored over the next five years but nothing untoward is expected.

Mr. Ramani then delved into the detail of my daily plumbing habits since the operation and expressed delight at my progress. Diana and I then received a lecture on the pipework that had been hacked about and rebuilt during the operation and how there will be a period of time that will pass by before my bits and pieces properly fuse together. Consequently, I was urged not to exercise too much but to build up very slowly and I’m not allowed to fly for three months. It was at this point that “She Who Must Be Obeyed” asked with a knowing look and a smile, whether it was to early for sex! I thought that the poor man was about to choke and after he recomposed himself he felt that this subject should be discussed at a later date. I was obviously relieved at his news and of course his comments. Later in the day “She Who Must Be Obeyed” claimed that her question was in jest but I will never forgot the look of horror on Mr. Ramani’s face.

So, dear reader, it would seem that this time I have dodged that particular bullet but to be serious for a moment the outcome could have been very different unless Diana and I had decide to undertake a private yearly health screening process just over four years ago.

I’m sure that my next post will be on a completely different subject. Until then, toodleoo!